Got my funk on

About 24 hours ago I felt "it" coming … the funk. I acknowledged its presence, but ignored acceptance. Should know better because as much as I have experience with it, and I know what needs to be done. But I didn't do what I should have and now it's time to deal with it.

Phrases like these blew through my mind:
- What the f*** am I doing this for?
- I should just bag this gig.
- What am I thinking?
- If I disenroll now, I won't have to finish the exam.

If I disenroll now ...

Yup - I'm good at drama creation and fatalist thinking - and therefore I know that 'tude is the tell-tale sign to stop the internal smackdown and be in the moment. How readily I forget that it is so simple: make peace with the moment, action comes out of acceptance - and breathe!

Yet, one of my sounding boards through this process says what I'm going through is normal; everyone goes through the pendulum of emotions and doubts that I'm experiencing. Great! But what does that tell you?

Related to this is the need to be creative. Of course there is a level of that in crafting my exam answers, but there is a different kind that I need.

Last week I began taking one image a day in the area in which I'm writing the exam; ala Brandenburg and Beasley. Doug described an exercise they did in a workshop - parceled off a 5 foot by 5 foot area for each participant and they had to shoot 36 frames from within that area only.

I begin my day with a few deep breaths, a bow, and an image. At the top of this entry is a week's worth of images - decided to keep them in color as that is what is real for me now. Unfortunately I can't figure out how to get the image in the middle of the entry; at the top it remains.

So here's to the funk - may it live as a necessary part of moving forward and moving on.